i knew ye before you were born....

robert l. bentham

robert l. bentham

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I knew you before you were born.... these are the words of god as told through the bible.

If we accept this, then we must accept that god is the preordained creator. Lets examine this for a moment by taking a short walk. It is one of my most cherished of places and it is called the saline river valley. As we head down cathedral I tell you all of the local yarns about the history of the town. We're driving down cathedral now and only one mile from “out of town”. We notice the fields as we go, rust colored from fall. Seasons are changing. We drive past uncle bob and uncle dales house. I remind you that my family gave him ten calves to restart his business, as disease; once wiped out his herd. We hit the t-bone and we turn right. Twin ponds is off on to the north now and they are shimmering with beauty. Two deer drink, unconcerned; from the waters as we drive down the hill,, and then up again. They are situated between a saddle, one ever so higher than the other. Stop sign, so we stop. Take a left and head down a winding road, the perilous turns have forced us to slow down, but we are treated to a visual of farms dotting our eyes view of the landscape and horizon. We look at each other, and we think to ourselves, “what hardy people must live out here!”. We please ourselves and smile as we look at each other in earnest, eye to eye, and realize we are on the same wavelength. Sharp turn at chrislers house and a left at the “blue hills”schoolhouse and we're home free to the valley... we watch the crops go by, excited by what will surely be today’s adventure.... we've no idea what is in store for us...
 
we see the valley as it rises before us, and we pull off before we get to the bridge. I regale you with stories about the 8 times I have been hit by flying rocks from speeding oilfield workers and we chuckle as my windshield presents testimony to its truth. “It's a beater but reliable”, I protest in defense of my baby. “I only take it to the rivers cause its good on gas, my other truck has drinking problem”. I justify to you... “She's the brown beauty!”, I exclaim with a parting shot. Mostly cause she's still pretty to me... and her beauty is on the inside really... we walk to the bridge and marvel at men who built this easier passage for us. What a noble and hardy man works clear out here to do this so countrymen need not be so isolated. Because we agree we both smile again... As we stand on the bridge we are in awe. Rainbow colored fish jump from the rivers in full glory and splendor as we gaze upon them. Turtles are surfacing and there dullard gray colors, do not fail to impress us, as we recognize them for there camouflage value. “those guys are safe we say, almost amusingly simultaneously” and we chuckle again. Because we are connected, and we both know it. Watch out for the fence, it's a five strand, rusted from age yet tested by time. Still sharp. Still sturdy. I'm holding the fence for you... are you still with me?
 
the sandstone ledges, please our eyes. we see an outcropping that hangs underneath shade and we decide to sit there. as we make our way to the ledge, shadowed by the maturing limbs of green trees; iridescent lizards in shades of blue, race around us as they escape the unusual circumstance. we are fascinated, but cautious as they roil around us in confusion... we approach the edge and after a mutual glance we reconcile ourselves that the safety of that spot is assured tho cobwebs from a variety of unmolested spiders go on living in their webs among us. and we sit. and we wonder. but more importantly we wonder together. and you look at me and i at you... and we are both curious... "how could all of this beauty exist without a grand designer?" "no building, nor view from parapet of man made design or structure can produce such beauty" surely not... we are at peace... because we have found the answer, but more importantly, we did so "together"... we are reaffirmed in our mutual affirmations of something both holistic and spiritualistic. and yet, we are both wrong. because of variety and control. these are the dominions of the mind, and i will tell you how....
 
you just drove down the road with me, did you see what i saw? did we connect? did you imagine the wildlife and see the beauty in its complete rainbow of colors? i hope so. that part is most important. but not "the most important" the next part is....
 
do you know why we connected? do you know why you felt that way about my most treasured place? it is mine after all. its because we see some things same same... and here comes the lesson.... what happened between us is what happens all of the time to all of us, just not always. the reason we are connected is this. we have accepted variety, and in this particular case and instance we do not choose to control it. what just happened here is this...

our limited knowledge and understanding of ourselves collapsed inward and we found acceptance for a commonly relatable truth... "that is beautiful". but how did we get here? well that part is interesting, yet not hard to discern. let me tell you what really just happened...
 
human beings, we are told use only one tenth of our mental capacity. most people think that means the rest of it is idle and available for wolverine claws and harnessing tornadoes by mind control, the truth is starkly different. imagine a billion men standing on a hill preparing for battle against the generic evils of the world, and still trying to promote the good things. they've a hundred thousand leaders among them all barking commands, "he's exercising again, send troops to reinforce the muscles!!", "he's drinking again, on to the liver and kidneys!!!". the cacophony of all this would be an unintelligible mess, that would drive us all mad, and the mind negates it and puts into a quiet space out of the demands for reason. some things the mind savors.
 
as we looked upon the animals, and the fauna, a few things happened to us... together too. at the same time, within each one of us, the stirring caused by a billion electrical impulses, and they caused us to see the same things, and feel the same things too. we felt it. didnt we? yes we did. we were happy for both the deer and the turtle, we bemoaned my cracked windshield, and mutually appreciated the perilousness of those winding sharp turns. a billion electrical impulses, we got almost all of them right at that moment in time and we were in awe... we attributed them to god... remember?
 
but we don't agree on stuff either... my best friend doesn't believe in abortion... another gun control... another thinks the sight of windmills to be ugly, another the baby next door... a billion pulses of electricity... and like lightning they are both, random and yet predictable, lightning rods must work after all, or science is a sham.... and the first attempt to stifle it was certainly "worth a shot"... even machines dont wanna die from stupidity... cabbage grows to a path that suits it, plant it once and see... life is about living and the continuity of such... in the end... base and crass as that sounds...
 
i said rust colored fields... you saw them
i mentioned the deer,in their tannish brown beauty, you saw them sip from cool blue waters and look around...
i took you down curvy roads, your mind didnt betray you by seeing runways did it?
i described my brown truck without color and yet ur mind is pulled to the ultra white web of cracks that must be my windshield...
i'm no wizard, nor am i a god...
i didn't do that to you...
your functioning brain, you know the part you don't hear, well it did that for you...
 
to a man who was color blind however, my last ten posts probably meant nothing... he won't get it and no matter how many times i define green with every flowery word, guess what... he still won't get it....
 
and so here we are, together at last and yet, alone still... arguing platos "form of the good" and "what is beauty?" erstwhile denying our poor definitions and inflicting our self imposed butthurt indignation's and then thrusting them into the realm of truth as if to be considered as fact. when they are little more than consequence.
 
consequence we are assured, by god, are "divine in nature" and "part of the plan even tho you dont get it" "praise us all for our uniqueness endowed by the creator", and yet here before you stand, almost 9 billion of us strong, predisposed to this or that, and yet nothing for the criminal.... as science searches for the "crime gene" let me assure you. if it was is not found; it will be, eventually... not because of some paranoid delusional fantasy but rather because evolution will dictate it, in fact mandate it so. we are evolving into the culture we always knew we could be.... and we are ensuring, foolishly, it's success.
 
and there you stand, or for that matter maybe i, colorblind, because one or two, or maybe a thousand, or maybe even a million, (tho we know its not that much) electrical connections became disjointed... and there you go my friend... the rest is a matter of what variety of disjointedness you can accept, or control, depending upon belief structure, which is arguably your belief structure and yet is attributable to little more than someone elses idea of misformity... sounds so haphazard... and yet to the believer by design... and if that is true... then it must have purpose...
 
so what is the purpose? the natural inclination as a christian is to say that its so we have people to alienate/and kill. reasoned men aren't so sure...
 
the elusive crime gene... how wonderful we are when we find it!! but what does it really mean?
 
the creator made that too... i would suggest to you that its poor terminology for the "i will do anything to survive gene". because we won't find, the "i haven't eaten in three days so i will steal a cucumber from your garden gene" or maybe"the i will theft a sandwich from your shop to feed my children gene"... life is fraught with peril my friend... right and wrong become blurred by the electrical explosions going off in our heads like the fourth of july, and we can only hope, only hope, to derive meaning from it. what do we do with those who cannot?
 
praise science, for all of it's worthlessness; it provides us with meaningful and consistent conclusions... from it we extrapolate the randomness of false gods... gods, who for wont of any other description provide us with little more than fate, faith, and the reprehensible chance; of the lotteries of luck...
 
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